I've had a couple of months to really process what happened to, Deadly Deception. It didn't bomb after it's re-release in October but it was met with harsh critiques about the ending. It wasn't suppose to be 'the' ending, more of a cliffhanger or eluding to the next book, but it has been perceived as an abrupt ending and that I simply gave up and called it a day.
I didn't give up. I didn't. What I did do is agree with my publisher's wishes. They wanted it to "end on a romantic note". The original wasn't going to end as it did. It was completely different but with the combination of the self-published, Deadly Deception and the Deadly Redemption manuscript, the suggestions were to change it and all closures would be found in Deadly Revelation.
I didn't want to do that. I disagreed.
However, in the end, I changed the end and the backlash has whipped me hard. Broken my confidence. I questioned every word I ever wrote. I'm frightened beyond rational thought as to what readers will think of Deadly Revelation. I'm seeking redemption for Dr. Anne and for myself.
I'm seeking forgiveness for an ending I signed off on. I don't blame my publisher or the time constraint or my editor. I blame myself. I wasn't forced to sign on the dotted line. I did that. After one of the best editors in the business and two copy editors combed through my book, I found difficulty swallowing the last page. I had to choke it down with a bottle of wine and a container of cookie dough ice cream.
To all those who wrote in their reviews how much they hated the ending, I agree and I'm sorry. I let you down and it's my fault. I do hope you forgive me and give me a second chance. I will never do that to you again, scouts honor.
With everything in life you must take the bad with the good. It's all right to break down because the re-build will be twice as fabulous.
In the words of my brilliant teenage son, "No matter what, it's the best day ever."
He's my little ball of positive sunshine.
So, there it is. Some will view this as a TMI, but my life has always been an open book (pun intended). Many know about what our family has been through and that story will release later this year. I don't want to give off this persona that it's always glitter and rainbows. That's not life. Being a Debbie Downer every day isn't cool either, but being real and owning your mistakes is what helps us grow as human beings.
Deadly Revelation releases April 8th. I am dedicating the book to my Aunt Blenda who died tragically 7 years earlier. We shared a love for poetry and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and her fantastic blue mascara.
Thank you for reading my brain drizzle and thank you for all your love and support! It means the world to me.